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Joke of the Day

"NASA announces rover ""Curiosity"" landed safely on Mars. In a related story, Martians are reportedly furious over the death of their cat...vow revenge."

"If Natalie Portman dated Jacques Cousteau they would win celebrity couple nicknaming forever with ""Portmanteau."""

"Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels."

"Today, I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that..."

"*smashes bag of Oreos *pours on top of salad"

"Put a kid in a lake or a river and they never want to come out. Turn on a shower and it's like you're blasting them with nuclear waste."

"Why was the ink happy? Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening."

"My own Mother called me a 'Son of a Bitch'. Then she told me I was adopted :("

"""knock knock"" whos there ""orange"" orange who ""orange u glad im not a banana?"" .... MARTHA THERES A RACIST ORAMGE AT THE DOOR DO I LET HIM IN"

"I also like my women like I like my coffee... ...cheaply imported from Brazil"