111782

Joke of the Day

"What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones? ""Attention Basingers"" hahaha"

"How was your day? -You know in Die Hard when he runs barefoot over broken glass? That bad? -Oh no. It's just a cool scene. My day was decent"

"To be a good dentist... ...you must think laterally and incisively."

"Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on."

"Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul."

"What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire? mourning wood"

"What do Justin Timberlake and Theon Greyjoy have in common? A dick in a box"

"Q: If a man's signature is called a John Hancock, what do you call a woman's? A: Historically insignificant."

"I don't think I could ever do a threesome. I can't even satisfy one girl, let alone a girl and a guy."

"Speed dating, but instead of talking, you just exchange phones for 3 minutes and try to glean as much information from them as you can."