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Joke of the Day

"Kid: WAAAHH! MY TOY IS BROKEN!! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape won't fix... Kid: mfflr..frrrr..strnnn"

"If you add a long hashtag to a tweet or Instagram pic, capitalize the first letter of each word. No one wants to work that hard at reading."

"Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories? A: Violists."

"A gay man asks his lover ""are you mad at me?"" The lover responds ""no, why?"". The gay man says ""Well, last night you slept facing me"""

"Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing."

"I wanted to tell an NSA joke... But I feel like they've heard them all before."

"Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors? To see the battle."

"""outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend"" ""inside of a dog, its too dark to read""-Groucho Marx"

"Every time I drink German beer I wake up with a really bad Hannover."

"Boss: Where were you born? Santa : India .. Boss: which part? Santa : What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India ."