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Joke of the Day

"Rape jokes aren't funny, but ... I got some hilarious rape seed material."

"I was thinking of inventing some chilli flavoured sun cream. But for now I've put it on the back burner."

"If a king runs a kingdom and an emporer runs an empire. Who's about to run this country? Yea that"

"What does Gucci say when it's cold outside? It's fucking cold"

"Twitter: The addiction that talks back."

"An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"(BAD JOKE) Did someone say pretzels? Yes, you just did"

"I'm sorry this birthday cake suffered a severe accident where my hand fell into it and a chunk of it filled my mouth."

"Grammar is: 1. How we structure our sentences. 2. Grandpa's wife. Some of you will pick number two."

"Shout out to that old cop in movies, talkin' 'bout how soon he's gonna retire & go sailing with his wife. Dude is about to get BLOWED UP!"