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Joke of the Day

"Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table... The waiter comes by and asks ""What are you celebrating?"" They say ""We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!"""

"Which U.S. state abbreviation is the best? I'm not sure, but Oklahoma's is OK."

"Do you know whats really odd? Numbers not divisible by 2."

"""We run a tight ship"" barked the captain, his shoulders barely getting thru the doorway ""Real tight."" he turns sideways to fit down the hall"

"""...This one is TOO big. This one is JUST right."" -my daughter, picking out her preferred public toilet."

"I was driving earlier and a guy pulled out right in front of me... Those idiots could have caused a crash!"

"So what DID the reddit admins said to the mods?"

"When I go shopping with my wife she thinks I'm bored because I'm looking at my phone the whole time. But that's exactly why I'm not bored."

"When the picture of the vampire's grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean? That the nail had come out of the wall."

"*yawns so wide a bird flies into mouth* *closes mouth* *looks around to see if anyone noticed* *swallows bird* *acts like nothing happened*"