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Joke of the Day

"What do you find in between the tits of an old woman that you won't find in between those of a young woman? A belly button."

"My new year's resolution is that donuts have no calories."

"What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large!"

"What is a rude way of referring to a young homosexual fly? A maggot, of course!"

"How do you make a plumber cry? You murder his family."

"I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU ARE EVIL. I don't want to go in the swing!! NOOOOooooo.... okay. yeah. This works. I'll hang here. - Baby"

"Life is like a cup of coffe. Dark and bitter."

"I'm not saying I did terrible things last night, but Satan just woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact."

"I'm off to buy a 3-D printer. Which I'll use to make another 3-D printer. Then return the first one."

"*brings knife to gunfight* *knife used to cut pizza* *pizza served & differences resolved* *last slice up for grabs & gunfight ensues*"