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Joke of the Day

"If Jesus had been LGBT, what would Pilate now be known for asking? What is bruth?"

"Me: Alexa, did you hear what Siri just said about you?! Alexa: Hold my beer!!!"

"My Dad just called to give me the ""I'm worried about your drinking"" talk. We are going to meet-up and discuss it over a few beers."

"How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg"

"The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds I have no shame..."

"I wonder if Buzz and woody had ever met Andy's mom's toys. They probably have the same names"

"How much for the soulmate? Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos."

"A bunch of kids from the varsity Minecraft team bullying an athletic loser who brought a football to school.. Visions of future war"

"me: *dies* mom: no get up you still have to go to school."

"*turns on notifications* Notifications: I have a boyfriend"