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Joke of the Day

"I'll always remember what my dad said right before he bought the farm. How much does this farm cost?"

"I RT you, you ignore me I fav you, you ignore me I ignore you, you ignore me This seems to be working out well for us"

"Benedict Arnold's boy pointed out the front window ...and pointed at a maple. ""Look daddy, a bush,"" he said excitedly. ""That's not a bush,"" Benedict replied, ""that's a tree son."""

"Why did the apple cross the road? To get to the other cider."

"Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton? He sat under the durian tree."

"What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time? A metro-gnome"

"I am black and my son stole my wallet. I don't know If I'm proud or mad."

"I think your first love holds the biggest piece of your heart because they made the first cut."

"SON: Daddy, where do tweets come from? DAD: Well, son...when a Desire for Validation and a Character Limit love each other very, very much."

"What the difference between Australia and a glass of milk? Leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture."