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Joke of the Day

"About an actress. Did you hear about that actress who killed her husband? Reese something... Witherspoon? No Witherknife."

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"What do you get when you mix a hippie and a yellow? Mello Yellow"
"The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I'm home alone and my power goes out."
"What do you call a gay Irish couple? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick."
"I can't follow these instructions on how to apply fake eyebrows They are way over my head"
"My dad went to jail this morning... Because he's the jail doctor."
"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Hippies only screw in tents."
"How many light bulbs did it take to screw a human? None, there not too bright with doing anything except showing us where to go when were lost in the dark"
"Surprise your girlfriend by hiding in her trunk until you're dead."
"How do you comfort a grammar fanatic? There, they're, their..."
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