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Joke of the Day

"About an actress. Did you hear about that actress who killed her husband? Reese something... Witherspoon? No Witherknife."

"Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it's a small soft drink."

"What do you call it when Gandhi starts a food fight? Naan violence"

"Why are lesbians always low on cash? Because they're constantly eating out!"

"'Benjamin Button.' 'BENJAMIN WHO?' 'Benjamin' 'WHO'S THERE?' 'Knock knock!'"

"Here, have my marionette set. ""Cool. How much for it?"" Just take it ""For free? What's the catch?"" No strings attached. ""You son of a bit.."""

"My Dad has the heart of a lion and so much hate mail he had to shut down his dental practice"

"Me: Do you ever feel like you're an imposter? Psychiatrist: Get out of my chair Me: Interesting *writes 'thinks he's the psychiatrist'*"

"How can you tell when Clinton is lying? Her lips are moving. Yeah, it's an old joke but then again, so is she."

"I'm addicted to brake fluid But I can stop whenever I want"