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Joke of the Day

"'Benjamin Button.' 'BENJAMIN WHO?' 'Benjamin' 'WHO'S THERE?' 'Knock knock!'"

"What country most despises cars that run on gasoline? Mad-at-gas-cars!"

"Her: I really want nachos!! Me: *changes name to nachos*"

"I paid $200,000 for an English degree and my coworker just asked me to proofread her Facebook status."

"So a Mormon walks into a bar.."

"OMG! My boss has choked on his sandwich and stopped breathing!! Should I call an ambulance? Its been 16hrs.. I didn't wanna make a fuss."

"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the ""no-bell"" prize."

"Just saw an old lady give up her seat to another old lady on the subway...polite or the ultimate shade?"

"Note to self: before sending that e-mail... Don't ever rely again on the e-mail engine spell check. Latest letter of intent of mine went out with a 'T' instead of a 'G' in ""Best Regards"""

"Why hunt for vampires when you can just open a tuxedo shop and have them come to you? Work smarter, not harder."