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Joke of the Day
"I can cut down a tree just by looking at it It's true, I saw it with my own eyes"
Next Joke
"HR writing an email saying I'm a naughty girl is not an acceptable excuse to not take awareness training... Apparently"
"I said ""Candyman"" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there."
"Defending why he has a dislike of gay guys... Ok look I know they're not all bad but you have to admit they hang around a lot of assholes."
"Fellas, If her pelvis doesn't touch yours when you embrace, she doesn't find you attractive."
"What do you call Batman when he skips out on church? Christian Bale."
"This is how I like to review my books: I look at their prose and cons."
"Glue is weird it's all like hey I want to stick these pieces of paper together wait I have an idea hand me that dead horse"
"As I unwrapped the condom I thought to myself... ""This is a really weird birthday present, mum."""
"What is a traveler's favorite font? Times New Roamin'!"