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Joke of the Day
"As I unwrapped the condom I thought to myself... ""This is a really weird birthday present, mum."""
Next Joke
"Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering."
"How do you pick up a Jew in a concentration camp? With a dustpan."
"What's worse than getting dumped by your girlriend? Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking."
"You say ""bed."" I say ""horizontal worry pod of nocturnal overanalysis."" Let's not get caught up in semantics."
"[adrift at sea] CLOWN: no worries, we can use this helium canister to propel us to shore ME: *really squeaky voice* we need a different plan"
"If you press this button, you will get a piece of cheesecake but one person on earth will die so- *me already pressing button* sorry, what?"
"WHY DO WE ALLOW OTHER COUNTRIES TO TAG THEIR NAME ON TO SOMETHING AND SELL US LIES WHEN THEY DO IT WRONG? CANADIAN BACON? ENGLISH MUFFINS?"
"This bum said everyone who gives him $10 gets a ""special"" surprise in the alley. My gut says no......but my heart says its a puppy!"
"The Dentist says, ""When was the last time you flossed?"" The Patient replies, ""You should know, you were there!"" Heard this at the dentist this morning"