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Joke of the Day

"""Do you have anything with, ya know, even more denim?"" ""These jeans are 100% denim."" ""I require more."" ""Mr. Leno, this is getting weird."""

"*painting your nails* one hand : perfect. other hand : looks like a blind cat did it."

"Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it."

"Say what you want about Floyd Mayweather. He won't be able to read it anyway."

"it has been suggested that men think about sex every 8 seconds I can tell you that's a complete phallus"

"Who do mice worship? Cheesus. :)"

"What do you call it when two transgender people go on a couples cruise around Hawaii? A trans pacific partner ship."

"Funny clown joke You know why cannibals don't eat clowns? They taste funny."

"1-buy waterbed 2-fill with wine 3-get Capri Sun straw 4-never leave your bed again"

"when life gives you lemons, be thankful it didn't give you cancer"