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Joke of the Day

"Get your shit together, people at McDonald's drive thru who sit there all confused like the menu hasn't been the same for the last 50 years"

"How to ruin a movie with one word... **Batman Begins** College **The Longest Yard** Sale **Charlotte's Web** Cam Add your own in the comments!"

"I'm at a second grade music recital and this is by far the most effective form of birth control I've ever tried."

"My sense of humor is a little crazy But the dragon rises into the potassium nitrate milkshake at sundown. It's a good day to be a helicopter."

"S & M me and the wife are in the s & m stage of our marriage. she Sleeps, i Masturbate"

"What's 6"" long and women love it? 100$ bill."

"Maced a hobo who started pulling cables out of my computer at work. Turned out to be the hipster IT guy and now I'm in HR again."

"What are Jehova Witnesses called in Chinese? Ding Dong!"

"My new year's resolution is that donuts have no calories."

"My friend got jailed for six months for pulling 4 people out of a burning building. Turns out that they were the firemen."