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Joke of the Day

"People like it when girls shake their boobs and butts in public, but when I spin my penis in a circle, people call me a ""Sex offender"" and tell me ""Don't do that in public parks."""

"[parent-teacher conference] Teacher: Which kid is yours? Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'?"

"Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?"

"What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? ....Dam."

"Groucho Marx once said: Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."

"What did Gimli say when his wife wasn't in the mood for sex? ""You're going to have to toss me"""

"My local bar was having a fund raiser for dyslexia It was all you can drink for ages 12 and up"

"While filling out a survey, I came across the gender option: Canadian... I guess you could say I'm Eh-Sexual."

"I'm good at telling dad jokes Hi good at telling dad jokes, I'm dad."

"Wife: Can you fix this, the holes too big for the thingy majingy? Me: Hey I know how it feels! Hahaha! *And then I regained consciousness"