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Joke of the Day

"Q. If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building who would hit the ground first? A. The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions."

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke would get for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"clutches my newly bought loaf of bread nervously as i walk past the duck pond"

"Just remember, every time someone misuses the word ""epic"" Zooey Deschanel covers another Smiths song on her ukulele."

"Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ? He was the skipper !"

"The brain is a wonder ful thing Why do you say that ? Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class !"

"What 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape"

"Necrophilia The insatiable urge to crack open a cold one"

"How did the shrimp eat all the fish food? shellfishly"

"Dear Canadians, Who's the cutest little nation? You are! Yes you are! *pinches cheeks*"