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Joke of the Day

"*trips a girl and catches her* Haha looks like you're falling for me *winks* *gets slapped*"

"I think I just passed a Pussy Willow. I couldn't see clearly because there was a big bush in front of it."

"2 Penises rob a bank 2 Penises are busy robbing a bank. All of a sudden a vibrator bursts through the doors. The one penis says to the other: ""Oh fuck! It's RoboCop!'"

"What did the train on the way to Auschwitz say? JEW JEW! TUGATUGATUGATUGA JEW JEW!"

"If you want to be a General Motors engineer, your memory needs to be perfect. You have to recall everything."

"""I'm an introvert!"" -Extrovert, after being alone for a whole ten minutes."

"I was going to have an edging tournament with some friends... ...but nobody came."

"If you start peeing out blood Urine big trouble"

"the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals."

"I wish it was my job to sit around laughing at statuses all day. Actually, he is unaware, but that's what my boss is paying me to do anyway."