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Joke of the Day
"""Do you think our lord and savior ever masturbated?"" ""Jesus fucking Christ..."""
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a chocolate bar, and a cop? One will kill your dog, the other's a chocolate bar."
"People who make you feel special are keepers. Anyone with such good taste has to be admired."
"Waiter: how did you two meet Me: this is actually a blind date W: *much louder* SORRY I SAID HOW DID YOU TWO MEET"
"During lunch, what did one Soldier say to the other Soldier? Want some Turkey?"
"What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in. "
"That Old Man An Old man knocked on my door and asked for the donation towards the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water."
"Her: You know, alot of men are going to be miserable when I marry. Me: Well how many men do you plan to marry?"
"I realized I needed an altitude adjustment... ...so I booked the next flight out of town."
"""sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?"" ""officer, I'm..."" *turns to camera* ""double jointed"" *cop starts breakdancing*"