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Joke of the Day
"Life's like a box of chocolates It doesn't last very long for fat people."
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"Being molested by a teacher is twice as bad for home-schooled kids."
"I'll never forget my grandfather's last words ""Stop shaking the ladder you little cunt!"""
"If at first you don't succeed, we have a lot in common."
"""Why am I not asleep?"" he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away."
"A soft drink is just a drink that needs a minute. Just give it a minute, this has never happened to it before."
"the guy in charge of namimg the bagpipes definitly just took one look at it and gave up"
"Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too."
"Congratulations /r/Jokes! You are subreddit of the day! Come check it out!"
"Stallone took home the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor. Should sit nicely next to his Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film; Rambo."