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Joke of the Day
"Why did the restaurant fire the pansexual? Because he kept fucking the cookware."
Next Joke
"How to stop procrastinating I don't know but I'll figure it out later"
"Have you ever seen the inside of an ac compressor? It's really cool."
"Im going to nickname my penis 'The Truth'... ...Because you want the truth, but you can't handle the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts."
"Police now use an iPhone app that scans irises to ID suspects. It replaces their previous method: scanning for dark skin"
"In accordance to the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Mechanics, we may already be in love right now."
"Just saw two homeless people hitting each other with cardboard.... Pillow fight?"
"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"
"A man walks into a gay bar.......... The bartender asks ""Would you like me to push in your stool?"""
"So I Tattooed a $100 bill On my Peter so my woman always has money to blow!"