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Joke of the Day

"So I Tattooed a $100 bill On my Peter so my woman always has money to blow!"

"Girl, are you a jar in my parents' fridge? Because I have absolutely no way of knowing how old you are."

"So a train runs over a woman... A train runs over a woman... Who's fault is it? The train driver's because he was driving through the kitchen."

"Psychic in a clothes shop Employee: How about this one? Psychic: Nah, its too small Employee:But you haven't even tried it on. Psychic: I'm a medium"

"I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed."

"What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!"

"This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? (From u/cherryslurpee) I won't pay 100 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I misread a headline today as ""the stealthy face a tax increase"" and thought good luck catching those ninjas, Obama!"

"It's only Wednesday and I'm already 94% done with this week."