110027

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between love and lust? ""About two-hundred dollars."" - Johnny Carson"

"If Jesus could have sex on his birthday... That lucky girl would be covered in Christ-mist."

"Daughter: dad Im a lesbian Dad: Okay its cool 2nd daughter: dad I'm a lesbian too Dad: Does ANYone in this family like guys? Son: I do"

"What is an orphan's favourite drink? Fosters."

"If farting under the covers is a Dutch oven... is doing it in the shower a German oven?"

"""Please. Make yourself at home."" *Brings cat and litter box inside* *Spreads cat poop on ground next to litter box*"

"I'm convinced that my wife took 9 years of education at 3 different colleges just to win all the arguments for the rest of my life."

"I think the scariest Halloween decorations I've seen this year have to be All the little blue signs that say Trump-Pence on them"

"What language do farsighted people speak? Farsi."

"[accidentally calls teacher ""mom""] MY BRAIN: shit, play it cool. say something. ME: what's for dinner tonight BRAIN: what"