11001

Joke of the Day

"HER: [walks in wearing lingerie] See anything you like? ME: I don't think that will fit me."

"Why people who work with computers have a lot of spare time"

"So, if 4 out of 5 people suffer some medical condition, does that mean the other 1 person enjoys it?"

"I wish my car could put its hands in its pockets and whistle when I drive by a cop."

"Why do Jewish men get circumsized? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off"

"I really don't understand why people tell 9/11 jokes. What happened on the ninth of November?"

"Twitter is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do and takes you nowhere"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Cause the pee is silent."

"What do you get when you cross a ring-tailed lemur with a U-Haul truck? I'm not sure, but I know ***IT LIKES TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT***"

"Is it ""lying in a puddle of blood"" or ""laying in a puddle of blood?"" Lol who knows, but yeah seriously, send an ambulance right away."