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Joke of the Day
"What is the most common disease for lettuce? Icebergers"
Next Joke
"[therapy] ""Where does your fear of spiders come from?"" *flashback to Spider-Man trying to kiss me behind Applebees* They're just creepy okay"
"LEONARDO DA VINCI: *on street corner* eeey girl! gimme a smile, girl! nah, not that big. make it cryptic, girl, like 'what is she thinking'"
"My ex-girlfriend was an opera singer. With her it was always ""me me me"""
"Confucius say, man who fart in church. Sit in own pew."
"Like it or not... That's how Facebook works."
"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard... Old Mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard to get the dog a bone. But when she bent over, Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own."
"Siri just said I'm looking for love in all the wrong places so I'm tryin to figure out what happened to Siri and how my mom got in my phone."
"What do you get... When you donkey eats my roosters 2 feet? 2 feet of my cock in your ass!"
"Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means?... Father: It means 'to be happy'.   Son: Are you gay?   Father: No, son. I have a wife."