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Joke of the Day

"I'm starting to forget how the alphabet goes... ABCDEFGHIJKLMFAO...."

"I'm the last one on Earth... My diet is now peanut butter, honey please come back."

"I hate barbers more than doctors Because I have to live with the shit that one does."

"I think my nephew finally figured out that there's no chameleon in this cage & that his Xmas present is a cage."

"What's the difference between an Iraqi middle school and a terrorist training camp? Fuck if I know, I just fly the drone."

"There's no 5 second rule at my house. The dog is much quicker than that."

"I did it Reddit! I finally did it! I finally made it to the front page!"

"If someone specifies that you're book-smart and not street-smart or street-smart but not book-smart, they're calling you stupid."

"Where is the most ironic place to get a girl pregnant? Abortion clinic."

"Rules for texting a girl: 1. Don't take 40 minutes to reply. 2. Use good grammar. 3. Ask Questions. 4. Use the face."