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Joke of the Day
"Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""
Next Joke
"What is a seal's favorite drink? Club soda"
"I went on a date with a girl who was born without feet. I forgot my wallet and asked if she could foot the bill. There was no second date."
"Me: *pouts at front facing camera* Front facing camera: I have a girlfriend."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you."
"Yo mama is so fat... That the sorting hat put her in the waffle house!"
"Whenever there is trouble, Justice League cums in a... Flash"
"I thought getting a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant. Apparently it just changes the color of the baby."
"no matter what the government says no one can stop you from eating the bugs you find in your garden"
"How many SJW's does it take to change a 90w lightbulb? Did you just assume my wattage??? FLICKERED"