109639

Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump is the candy corn of politicians Part white, part orange and sickening in large doses"

"Tell a girl shes pretty 100 times she wont believe you Tell a girl shes fat once and she'll remember it forever cause elephants never forget"

"Did you hear about the gay Irish Dentists? Ben Dover and Phil Mcavity!"

"What did the engineer say to the bridge after it had collapsed? I trussed you."

"what's the strongest part of a vegetable? the wheel chair."

"Saw a guy in the gym, ahead of me on the Lat pulldown machine, wearing a David Luiz T-Shirt Needless to say, I got past him."

"The iPhone 7 ad has a catchy song... Hit the road Jack"

"What do Lady Gaga and E. L. James have in common? They both wrote bad romance."

"Have you decided on dinner? ""Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled."" Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY"

"I wrote ""except zombies"" on my welcome mat so I know I'll be safe during a zombie apocalypse."