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Joke of the Day

"What did one car muffler say to the other car muffler? ""Am I exhausted!"""

"I went to a gay bar. As I sat down to order a drink, I went to a gay bar. As I sat down to order a drink, a kind gentleman approached and offered to push my stool in."

"What did the man say to the priest at the beach? Do you mind getting out of my son."

"Help me practice my knife throwing skills. You catch."

"Me: *texts* How'd you sleep? Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING."

"You know that awesome feeling when you finally understand a word problem in math class? Me neither."

"Three drums and a cymbal rolled down a hill ba dum dum ching"

"(From my 7 year old) Why should you never give Queen Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."

"I recently got a rescue dog, but I'm not real happy with him. When I got lost while hiking, he was no help at all."

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could suck it, he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, "" if my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it!"""