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Joke of the Day

"A Man walks into a Zoo The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"Someone please invent a service to grocery shop for you but also cook it into a meal and also the meal is pizza oh it's pizza delivery"

"[normal life] ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for vacation] hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats...32 shirts"

"What's a pirate's favorite explosive? M80"

"Did you know that 95% of Jews aren't Jews? They're dead"

"Why do politicians take laxatives? So they can speak more fluently"

"B: If you have a sore throat... B: ...I can lend you my throat medicine. G: Throat medicine, huh? B: IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK G: Uh huh B: IT'S CEPACOL G: Weird name to call your dick."

"What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth? A gummy bear."

"If a gorilla stole my girlfriend and started throwing barrels at a construction site, the last guy I'm gonna call for help is a plumber."

"See if your child has learnt any swear words yet, by turning the wifi off while they're playing minecraft."