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Joke of the Day

"How people think Brain: ""You're weird."" Body: ""and you're fat."" Face: ""plus you're pretty ugly"" Food: ""I'm here for you babe..."""

"I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out"

"My wife is like a piece of Sodium Carbide She's dangerous when wet"

"Slave1: I never knew my parents Slave2: same Moses: I was put in a basket & placed in a river Slave1: do baskets float? Moses: they do not"

"I'm not flirting, I'm being friendly. *gets on knees and undoes your belt*"

"Did you hear about the guy who kept shooting birds? He was charged with First Degree Burder."

"Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth."

"Feudalism It's your count that votes."

"Hillary Clinton doesn't suck! Just ask Bill"

"I went to the doctors today told him ""I've got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem"". The doctor said, ""Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that""."