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Joke of the Day

"*pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand* Booth operator: ma'am please not again Me: someBODY once tolled me"

"Did you here about the French Alps pizza service? Apparently they deliver large plane's"

"Two birds are sitting on a perch... The first one says, ""Hey... do you smell fish?"""

"Gawker must have been playing The Oregon Trail 'cause they just died of dissin' Terry."

"A priest walks into a shoemakers shope... And says to the cobbler, ""Help! My soles need heeling!"""

"Interviewer: says here you're a sniper Me [opening gun case]: affirmative Interviewer: is that a Supersoaker with a Pringles can taped to it"

"Afghanistan is just a regular ghanistan that's ghanistan af."

"Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?"

"September just ended... Someone should wake up Green Day."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit a lot"