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Joke of the Day
"Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his ass."
Next Joke
"*Panda walks into shop, ""A packet of nuts please."" Assistant: ""pandas don't eat nuts."" -""dammit"" panda suit opens and 36 squirrels run off."
"[on a test drive] Me: Haha the heated seat feels like I peed my pants! Dealer: This car doesn't have heated seats. Me: Does it have napkins?"
"If she shovels shit at the local zoo, then she's a keeper"
"Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because the parrots-eat-'em-all"
"Lets be real here, everyone has laughed at a child falling over in public,at least once, why ? Because its funny."
"""We have to get together sometime!"" is a great way of saying, ""I regret running into you."""
"My son complained to me that his yogurt was too soupy. I told him to suck it up."
"Why do jews watch porn backwards? so they can come when the prostitute hands the money to the guy"
"You're exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away."