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Joke of the Day

"Border collies are not very inbred... You know what dogs *are* inbred? Hotdogs."

"If a tree falls in the woods.... .....and no one is around to hear it. Will a hipster buy the soundtrack?"

"a snare drum and crash cymbol fall out of a tree.. baduumm, tssshhh"

"What do you call someone who doesn't like food fights? A pasta-fist."

"How do you know if your wife is dead? The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up."

"What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brians."

"Added my sticker to the family on the back of your van I am in your family now you have to bring me to costco every time you go."

"I am living proof that you can ""be there"" and ""be square""."

"Make sure to change out the condom in your wallet once in a while...so your wallet doesn't think you're a loser."

"I tried going outside today as a gamer Holy shit 4K RES and 120 FPS. Best quality ever. 10/10 will play again."