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Joke of the Day

"I made this up today. How do you print something when you've really got to go to the toilet? You ctrl p."

"Do you think it's weird that the only reason we still have landlines is so cops in movies can wake each other up in the middle of night?"

"I've decided to get rid of my vacuum cleaner... ...because it's as old and overused as this joke."

"I knew a fat doctor once, who was obsessed with the weather. He was a meaty urologist."

"So a pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender asks him why he has the wheel on him, and the pirate replies ""YARR! IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!"""

"THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985): Five white heterosexual suburban American 17-year-olds manage to find common ground."

"Sixteen sodiums walk into a bar... ...followed by Batman."

"*mom puts a gummy vitamin in my mouth while I yawn* Mom, I'm 36. *chews it up, swallows* Adults are supposed to have 2 though."

"I met a pirate the other day that had a steering wheel in his pants. I asked him what that was. He said: ""rrrr ...i don't what it izz but it's driving mezzz nuts"""

"Why is it called the ""funny bone"" when you hit your elbow on something and it tingles? Because it's humerus."