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Joke of the Day

"Why is it called the ""funny bone"" when you hit your elbow on something and it tingles? Because it's humerus."

"*runs my fingers thru your hair* *tightens grip* *pulls your head back* *looks you in the eye* Me: WTF do you mean you ate the last donut?"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips"

"What's Richard Nixon's favorite game? I spy."

"Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor."

"Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide? Because it's too cold outtide"

"Man and a duck... ...walk into a bar. ""ouch"" ""quack"""

"Did you hear the guy who invented predictive text has died? His funfair will be held on a sundial. Funfair* Funfair* For ducks sake..."

"Pavlov walks into a bar. Ivan Pavlov walks into a bar. The bartender rings the bell for last drinks, and he thinks ""shit - I forgot to feed the dog"""

"Break-Ups How do functions Break-Up? They stop calling each other."