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Joke of the Day

"Nothing solves all of life's biggest problems like a well-timed, awkward & overly complicated kick to the face. -The Karate Kid."

"When somebody said I could never be a ninja I replied, ""Shurikan"""

"Why did tigger look in the toilet... He was looking for Pooh"

"Why was the student witch so bad at essays? Because she couldn't spell properly."

"-""I was the girl that hated you back in high school."" -""I'm sorry, can you be more specific?"""

"What's a good treatment for insomnia? Bill Cosby"

"What did the chef say to his assistant when he got handed the wrong ingredients? This is neither the thyme nor the plaice."

"What's the opposite of a basic Jew? A Hasidic Jew. (Thank you.. Thank you.. I'll be here all week..)"

"The necrophilia is strong with this one This is my best friend. She enjoys pina coladas, long walks on the beach, and the feeling of cold dead skin upon her body. http://imgur.com/Rie20hf"

"*air horn sound* *second air horn sound* Me: ""This isn't deodorant."" *air horn sound* *second air horn sound* Me: ""This isn't deodorant."""