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Joke of the Day

"From John bishops only joking Did you hear about the local blender company? They went into liquidation"

"What's the programmer's favorite drug? A line of code."

"At Christmas, it's important to pause and remember all those who have wronged you this year and how you can wreak vengeance on them in 2017"

"Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: Exactly."

"What do you call a group of Pigeons and Chickens? A Coo Clucks Clan"

"I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes."

"Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing? In case you get a hole in one."

"If you're ever lost in the woods, try to find a bear to kill. Their claws will provide four sweet breakfast pastries."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee *before* it was cool. :-)"

"Why did the pedophile go to Walmart? He heard that boys pants were half off."