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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why everyone looks so stressed. I tweet and drive all the time. Oh...must be the beer."

"What's better than roses on a piano Tulips on an organ."

"What do whores and sailors have in common? They are both always surrounded by sea - men! I made up this one."

"A cashier rings up a box of trash bags for a customer... Customer: ""I don't know why I keep buying these things, I just end up throwing them out anyways."""

"Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later."

"Where does King Kong sleep? Anywhere he wants to."

"You know when you lie, things can get out of hand very quickly....... For example I heard about a girl who lied to her husband about how she got pregnant and now there is an entire religion."

"What kind of chocolate swims in the ocean? scubGodivas."

"My friend attempted to make a cocktail... but she didn't have the Bols."

"Made-up joke from a 9-year old: ""Where are the king's armies?"" ""Up his sleevies."""