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Joke of the Day

"Our local council said they are going to get all the coins out of the wishing well and put them into a balloon. Talk about getting everyone's hopes up."

"Jack and Jill went up a hill; &nbsp; to have a bit of fun. &nbsp; But stupid Jill forgot the pill; &nbsp; and now they have a son."

"I was reading in the paper today about a midget that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?"

"What is yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You're a fucking rapist."

"I grew up in a very sheltered household. Our house had 17 roofs. We had alcoves upon alcoves. I wore a tarp wherever I went."

"Cam Newton has been fitted with a GoPro strapped to his leg for the Super Bowl, sponsored by a canned meat company. It's called the Spam Cam Newton Gam Cam"

"Dad's last words ""Why hello, Serious, my name's..."""

"I thought about doing stand up comedy, then I sat back down again."

"I realize not everyone is cool with Easter egg hunts, but they are vital. They help manage the egg population and keep it at healthy levels"