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Joke of the Day

"Dad's last words ""Why hello, Serious, my name's..."""

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"Spend life with the people who make you happy, not the people who you have to impress."
"What's a great thing to do in Fresno? Leave."
"Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence... ...because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine."
"I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive, ""Hi""."
"A man's wife died and he called wife's parents many times after some time Mother in Law: Stop calling. How many times we need to tell you that she died? Man: It pleases me to listen that she died."
"I got fired on my first day as a paramedic for trying to revive everyone with true love's first kiss."
"They're not called grammar nazis anymore. They're the Alt-Write."
"What is it called when an exchange student goes to Malaysia? Euthanasia."
"Genderfluid? I just call that semen"