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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He cannot comprehend the concept of a road. He is just looking for food."

"Your Harvard education doesn't make me respect you more - it makes me respect Harvard less."

"Billy where is your homework? ""im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it"""

"I bet the ""YMCA"" dance is harder to do in different languages."

"You are what you eat Asshole"

"How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb? Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better."

"[date started at 9 pm] [9:30 pm] Her: I love long awkward silences. [10:20 pm] Me: Me too."

"Did you know that all milk has to be sterilized before use? Prepasteurous!"

"I just saw 2 blondes walk into a bar. You'd think after the first one did, the second one would have stopped."

"Why did the train get hit by lighting? Because of the conductor."