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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He cannot comprehend the concept of a road. He is just looking for food."

"Why did Jesus get a ticket? He tried to skip the Cross walk."

"Four blonds walk into a bar... ...cheering ""85 Days! 85 Days!"" A gentleman inquires ""Excuse me, but what's '85 days?'"" The blonds reply ""We completed a puzzle in 85 days and the box says 2-4 years!"""

"My house was haunted, so I got it exorcised by an expert. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford the payment and it got repossessed."

"What do you throw a drowning aboriginal? His wife and kids"

"I'm stoned. Either the smoke alarm is beeping or the house is backing up."

"Remember when you were a kid and used to blow Bubbles? Well, Bubbles is back in town and he's looking for your number."

"Saw Helena Bonham Carter walking down Wardour Street earlier looking every inch the mystical vagabond. Was tempted to rub her head for luck."

"I wish we could all agree to adjust our cultural perspective on beauty so that I could eat more."

"So I just got back from a trip in Germany, and I realized how awful American children are. While they may be nice and all where I live in NYC, kids in Germany are kinder."