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Joke of the Day

"In solidarity with peaceful Muslim communities around the world, I believe America should finally elect it's first Muslim president to a third term."

"Did you know that Ang Lee made Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon five years before he made Brokeback Mountain? Yeah, working title for the latter film was Crouching Cowboy, Hidden Sausage."

"I wonder if John McCain plays with plastic Army men and pretends he's President at home."

"Call of Duty is like the Boy Scouts, everyone's gay, and there's a lot of camping."

"What's your best Hitler joke?"

"I told my friend not to play Pokemon Go in India You won't just find a Pikachu there, you'll also find a gang banging you."

"My ex-girlfriend dropped this one on me a heavy box. She was trying to kill me."

"I went to the zoo. So I went to the zoo last week. It was such a bad experience. I paid 20 bucks and there was only 1 animal there. A dog. It was a shit zoo."

"A son asks his old man... ""Dad, are you gay?"" ""Who told you? Was it your father?"""

"When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, ""No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"""