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Joke of the Day

"[phone rings] ""Hello?"" Hi, is your refrigerator running? ""WTF?"" ...well Hillary is! Hi, I'd like to talk to you about the Clinton campaign."

"I named my penis Richard That's long for Dick Hey - at least it's not another Turkey joke."

"What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi"

"Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a Registered Six Offender."

"What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver? I'm at your service ma'am."

"I was late to work because I was having car trouble. And by car trouble I mean I was sleeping and not driving the car."

"""I'm tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back."" ----people in wheelchairs probably"

"My alarm clock isn't in a good mood... It just went off on me"

"Daddy what is a transvestite? Ask your mother, he knows it."

"My drug dealer sold me some shoes the other day... ...I dont know what he laced them with but Ive been tripping all day."