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Joke of the Day

"[phone rings] ""Hello?"" Hi, is your refrigerator running? ""WTF?"" ...well Hillary is! Hi, I'd like to talk to you about the Clinton campaign."

"Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used? A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole."

"What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels? A heroine addict."

"I said to the wife, ""I'm horny."" ""What you want me to do?"" ""Have sex with me."" ""Oh, really?"" ""No, just joking,"" I laughed. ""I just wanted to give you a headache."""

"Starbucks should have a separate line for people who don't know what they want or how the world works."

"The problem with driving a Yugo... ... is that the Czech engine light is always on."

"How do you tell the time in the US? By looking at a bomb"

"Cow jokes.. What do you call a cow with no legs? -- ground beef What do you call a cow with 3 legs? -- lean beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? -- your mom"

"want to go to a pet store and pet the guinea pigs. let me see those baked potatos stat. i want to hear the noise they make"

"What do your mother and the ground have in common? They are always full of seed."