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Joke of the Day

"If you see a condom, a tampon and a bra walking down the street..... which one is more likely to say hello? ans: the bra. The other two are stuck up cunts."

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"A chinese tiger mom asks her daughter a question about her future: Erizabeth, you stirr want to be a doctoh right? Her daughter replies: No, actuary..."
"What's Shakespeare's favorite video game? Sonnet the hedgehog"
"What kind of bagel can fly? A plane bagel."
"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!"
"I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache, And then suddenly she's not your friend anymore..."
"Note to self: before sending that e-mail... Don't ever rely again on the e-mail engine spell check. Latest letter of intent of mine went out with a 'T' instead of a 'G' in ""Best Regards"""
"Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors."
"What happens to all Vertibird pilots? They Fallout"
"What did the 40 yr old bassoonist tell the proctologist? You need to examine my butt soon."