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Joke of the Day

"Justin Bieber The new Justin Bieber 3-D movie is amazing. It's like you could almost reach out and punch him."

"Why do Muslim extremists prefer to drink cappuccino? Because they hate french press."

"Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic? ...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin."

"An angry Hillary storms into Satan's office and yells ""You told me I was going to win!"" Satan looks up from the paper and says, ""Well, you told me you had a soul."""

"A drop of roof water hit my face and I reacted like it was liquid herpes."

"When ""Tickle Me Elmo"" was a big deal, there had to be a quality assurance department... Imagine, a whole group of people whose job was to test tickles."

"What do you call a big Eastern European sausage? Kielbasa (Often Pronounced Ca-Ba-Sa.)"

"I grew up in a rough part of town... The local youths used to cover me in chocolate and cream, then put a cherry on my head. Life was tough in the gateau."

"What celebrity is most likely to stab you? James Blunt"

"It's bad enough hearing people judge others based on their appearance... but when ugly people do it, I feel horrible."