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Joke of the Day
"Why is taking spanish 2 so awesome? You get a lot of puse."
Next Joke
"Geology rocks but making holes in rocks is boring."
"Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown."
"Me: I just want to sleep! Brain: AND I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT EVERY LIFE CHOICE YOU'VE EVER MADE! Bladder: Oh & don't forget about me."
"My husband just told me to relax, like he doesn't remember we're camping in the desert and I brought a shovel."
"Don't move, I know what I'm doing. *takes a nap"
"What do they eat on the set of a chick flick? Romcomnoms"
"""Come reckon with me bro."" -Force"
"Baby elephants migrate hundreds of miles to find water. My 6 year old is lying on the floor of the mall because I made him walk from the car"
"What do you call it when someone leaves at the first sign of a hurricane? A premature evacuation."