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Joke of the Day

"I always make a point to add a 'man' when I say thanks to the pizza delivery guy, so he knows I used to smoke weed and shit."

"Bill Cosby is a lot like Freddy Kruger. They both come in your nightmares."

"All animals are wild animals if you give them tequila and lift up their t-shirts."

"What is the difference between a Pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches..."

"Did you hear about the monkey lawyer who kept throwing his shit at the witnesses? He's been transferred to a different branch."

"Getting married at 18 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm."

"Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter. Blame GROCO PCA"

"You know what's the worst thing about having sex with 28 year olds? You have to keep track of all twenty of 'em"

"Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam? It said ""twist to open"""

"Eli5 What is it like being six."