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Joke of the Day

"Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter. Blame GROCO PCA"

"Who won the Battle of the Bulge? The guy with the bulge in his sock ..."

"Can someone tell Buzz that it's impossible to go beyond infinity, guy's pretty stupid for an astronaut."

"Don't you dare dry your hands on my decorative towels you piece of shit."

"In what realm does Thor use his hammer the most? Milfheim"

"The Hamburglar burgled HAM. If he stole burgers, he'd be called the Hamburgerburglar."

"Why was the black person sad? Police Brutality"

"I've had about 13 beers so I guess I'll give myself a haircut"

"I am extremely offended by the song ""God is Dead"" by Black Sabbath. How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that? ...when Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well."

"Parole officer: Come in and take a seat [me, finishing a jail term for stealing chairs] *starts sweating*"