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Joke of the Day

"Made this one up today: Knock knock I eat mop"

"Good news! I'm not a 30 year old virgin anymore! Happy birthday to me!"

"Oh you have a hard time gaining weight? That's cool. Here, hold this grenade."

"How do Alabama parents teach their kids to put on their underwear? Yellow in the front, brown in the back."

"""Hey. Here's some free oxygen. No prob! All I ask is that you don't let your dogs piss on m- Oh there he goes. He's pissing on me."" -trees"

"What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves!! just kidding....I don't know what he got....he hasn't opened it yet"

"Why do primates do so well in show biz? Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!"

"What do you call the fruit of Islam? Quran-berries"

"What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man? An Instagram account."

"What has 1 hand, 3 legs, 6 feet, and 2 heads? The finish line at the Boston Marathon."