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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He is all right now."
Next Joke
"What's the worse quality of a hermit crab? They're too shell-fish!"
"What did Wendy do when she first saw Captain Hook? She Peedherpants"
"What does the sun skate on? Solarblades"
"What is ISIS' favourite file type? .exe"
"If I ever become a filthy millionaire, I'm gonna string 50 smartwatches together and create a batman belt of gadgets out of them I know it's a waist of time, but it'll be worth it."
"Why did they start using liquid soaps in prisons? (if you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up."
"I'm old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy."
"Sorry for releasing thousands of shrieking bats at your wedding. Sometimes I don't know what to do with my hands."
"What do you call an snobbish criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."